This is not “just a hoodie.” This is crisis couture. Built on the Champion blank, it’s heavy enough to outlast your bad days and soft enough to make denial feel cozy. The rainbow chaos print on the front says I’m doing great! so you don’t have to. The sleeve whispers JUST COPING to anyone paying too much attention. Outside label: The Unicorn Punch fist -- your secret society stamp.
• 50% cotton, 50% polyester (equal parts comfort and dysfunction)
• Fabric weight: 9 oz (thick enough to carry your emotional baggage)
• Regular fit - because nothing about you is regular but your hoodie can be
• Set-in sleeves (built to catch your tears)
• Two-ply hood (twice the denial)
• Dyed-to-match drawcord
• Kangaroo pocket (hide your hands, snacks, or secrets)
• Heavy rib-knit waistband and cuffs (won't unravel, even if you do)
• Embroidered “C” logo on the left cuff (you survived, so you get a C)
• Blank product sourced from Honduras and Guatemala, printed only when you order (less waste, more sarcasm)
Disclaimer: Size up for a looser fit. Up the size if you plan on hiding from the world.
